Perfectionism as a lodger
Only just started my blog and already a writer’s block … to be very honest; I’ve been quite stressed since the start of my blog. For there must be new and relevant material to publish as blog posts. I know, I know, my old friend ” perfectionism ” resides here as a guest, and that is precisely why I feel blocked . ” F ” I think more than once these days. This is precisely the sort of thing I should write about and not something forced or fabricated. Staying close to myself and in al honesty look at myself in all my facets with the solutions and insights that go with looking inside. The things that are going the least well are simply good topics to write about….At least for now.
Recipe for a mini Disaster
I also realize that I have a lot on my plate and still have lots left to do before I leave for Nepal next week. Such a period, the period right before a longer trip, is never quite relaxed. Just the thinking that I still have so much to do and the actual things that I really must do. I’m feeling giddy with the thoughts swirling inside my head, the intake of excess of coffee, getting less sleep and sometimes do not even know if I have or haven’t eaten and/or drank anything at all and that with regular occurrence. When I reread the last few sentences – I imagine a stress Doctor could have written this prescription. But unfortunately I do this to myself.
What is it that I can not stop chores I ‘m too tired for at 12 o’clock at night, followed by a serious lack of sleep, followed by a worsening sleep every night, yet get up early every day, to repeat it all over again. You need a bit of masochism and a slight superwoman complex to not see what I’ve been putting myself through!
Apparently perfectionism is currently – and to have the courage of imperfection – a theme. I have noticed that in many areas of my life I run against this fence. I want to get to the next level of me and professionally I want improve upon myself, lift everything to a higher ground and well, right now!
More than once I have experienced that by trying to develop yourself and work on changing an emotion or a habit, this very act produces a lot of pressure. As if the ego says, “hey hello why would you put aside I’ve been protecting you for such a long time, you really have to do without me? In Buddhism it is known that if you want to tackle something inside yourself, in my case my perfectionism, it almost automatically manifests itself strongly and extremely large in our minds eye, to the outside world maybe barely noticeable but a real storm in your head.
So I say to my urge to be a perfectionist: ” Your time in this B&B has come to an end! I have fed you enough just to realise you’re a bottomless pit. You used to serve me perfectly now you’re just an obstacle and I’ll be looking for better behaviour at helping me on my path.
From experience I know that the moment I don’t see a way out anymore, and when I become fed up with my myself and my behaviour, the change is near. So just persevere jus t a little longer, be less hard on myself because I’m worth it – Love Radia
Do you also experience perfectionism and is it an obstacle or not? If it is an obstacle tell me how it affects you and what do you do to get rid of it?